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  1. It’s like jumping off a bridge continuously for the rest of the time he’s with her, and dragging along a random innocent child

  2. But yes I do agree it’s more expensive than a lot of other places, but to me it’s completely worth it for the medical security and the peace of mind I have surrounding illness.

  3. Don't do this nebulous “within five years” thing. She might think she can agree and then you'll forget about it before the time is up. If you want to go home, it should really be soon so this doesn't happen.

  4. Finally, a situation that doesn't make me wanna gouge my eyes out after reading.

    In all seriousness, I would really take the advice of the people here. Work on scheduling, date nights, etc. It will be really beneficial for both of you.

  5. Dude, I wake at 4am to get my runs in. If it was for sex I would be willing to stay up all night until 5sm….

    Sounds like it's not a huge priority for you.

  6. Hello /u/akiarei,

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  7. I think you need a therapist.

    1) Not even dating the guy.

    2) Already acknowledged that he's a “player”

    3) Shocked and appalled that he kissed another drunk and lonely girl in front of you when you're not even dating

    Maybe lay off having “FWB's” if you can't deal with the outcome. I can't believe a 23 year old woman wrote this

  8. I’m not gonna deny this factored in to things. But I tried to have a productive conversation and she refused to tell me what’s wrong about it or compromise

  9. They really aren, I was banned because I called an abusive asshole names:….it wasn’t even the OP but someone the OP was posting about.

  10. You won’t be able too. So you may hang on to get some revenge or just to be pampered or loved more. It’s all bukkshit. Pack up

  11. Well the other “caring” guy is married too so filing for divorce on her part is stupid atm. Maybe when the “caring” guy comes clean to his “monster” wife then they both will file for divorce and live a “caring” life together.

  12. Thank you, I think it's too late.

    He's given me so many chances to prove myself and I've failed him. I should stop blaming my failure on others and realise that I've coasted and relied on him for far too long.

  13. Would love an update in the future. Good luck.

    I think you should talk to her. Tell her everything youve written here and that you cant go on like this any longer. Set some boundaries and see how she reacts. Itll be pretty clear where to go from there imo.

  14. You’re young. You’ll never be happy in this situation. Do yourself a favor and ditch this now… it’ll only be harder the longer it goes. You’ll never trust her and it will eat at you forever more… you know what you need to do or you wouldn’t be asking. Do it.

  15. You aren’t uninteresting you are still pretty mentally unwell and obsessed with your ex. You are also trying to dodge responsibility. Yes it was your mental health that did that but at the end of that day ti was you and only you. No one else did anything.

  16. She works and only pays her car payment, but comes to you for money for car troubles? Where does all her monet go?

    Don't call her. She is using you for an ATM. Don't give her any more money. She has her own.

  17. I get where you’re coming from, and it’s reasonable to feel uncomfortable ANY time theres sexual things brought into a non-sexual context. But I’m almost certain it was just a boner from the cuddling.

    If this doesn’t ease your mind, talk to him about it and see.

  18. Nope and you shouldn't tie yourself to him the way you did. You've been clear on your boundaries and apparently need to look him in the eyes and clearly state you'll never change your last name and you aren't joking or changing your mind. Honestly I'd rethink about the house atm and take a full step back. He's not respecting your autonomy and desires.

  19. Yeah you're right, I just really needed to hear someone talk some sense into me. He's genuinely the first guy I've come across that doesn't like to eat a girl out😂 thanks though!

  20. Ooooof, you are definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed. And after reading this and the last post, I hope cian and your soon to be ex fall in love.

  21. i’ve decided against the move for sure. it just is gonna suck ending it and breaking all of this to them because i feel like i got their hopes up.

  22. Congrats that you like to go to strip clubs. Many, MANY women do not agree with you. And many women also do not want their SO’s to go to strip clubs. Simply having this as a boundary is not a reason for therapy. OP is very much allowed to have that boundary and doesn’t need to be ok with her husband visiting strippers. Her husband also compounded the issue by lying.

    So you’re right, you do have the unpopular opinion. You also seem to think that your boundaries should apply to everyone.

  23. Please don't make girls be like me and suffer. Please call the police and let them take over. Please do this. Please.

  24. Actions speak louder than words. People can say whatever they want, but their real motives lie with how they treat you.

  25. I absolutely think you should leave this dude, but I wouldn't show him this post. Seeing everyone suggest you leave is likely not going to be a wake up call, but make him even more abusive than he already is. (Verbal abuse is abuse.) My advice would be to tuck this away where he won't find it, talk to a reputable divorce attorney, listen to your attorney, get all your ducks in a row and leave when he is at work.

  26. OMG you’re absolutely gorgeous and your soon to be ex-bf is an immature asshole. He’s 25? Smh…

    You’re not dating a man you’re dating a child. Who even gives a shit about the proportions of their gf in front of their friends? Boys grow out of that when they mature into adults. He obviously is not mature enough to be in an adult relationship.

    He pretended he was dating your sister??? Because he wanted to flex about his “gfs” proportions…? What a dishonest loser. He should be ashamed of himself. I’d like to have a couple choice words with this chap about respecting women.

    Get out now before he even gets close to damaging your self-esteem. You have nothing to worry about. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU THINK OTHERWISE.

    Look at that ocean behind you. Every single animal in that ocean would be a better bf than your soon to be ex. You’re 23 and beautiful. Don’t waste your time on the sea sludge. Plenty of guys out there that will love just the way you are! Ditch the sea sludge!

  27. Everything – he, the situation, you, the cousin – its all too messy, too childish & immature. I read your post & its given me migraine so I cannot imagine you in center of the chaos.

    you are 24 & he is 19 ? just leave him & go find someone your age. you want a man to love & care of you not one that's accusing you on everything & from everywhere like a petulant child – which he is at 19…duh…

  28. If anything my SO would sorta be happy for me to go out with friends (also so he can game for hours to win game passes on BR games and finish other games he never finished). I'm sure he'd end up missing me at some point.. but I know he really wouldn't mind it.

    The game thing just seems so illegitimate to me. It seems like what he's really upset about is not him being upset. He's literally just insecure. He doesn't know how to be on his own. He had you at his beck and call and even if you didn't know it, you were at his beck and call. Ready to iron his clothes and make meals. Now you aren't cause you've grown into someone better but he let himself become stunted. And, if you're a person with small pride and big ego, as it causes insecurities and confidence issues, you will feel very incompetent and feel less-than. And honestly, this all just reflects onto his character, as he is showing that:

    1) He isn't a supportive partner, and therefore can't be within your support system/group

    2) Has low self esteem that he isn't willing to work through

    3) He doesn't care if he puts you down- so therefore he doesn't care about you as a person

    Don't be with someone only wants to see you regress to their level or what path in life they're on. Progress further. I have very little advice on how to keep this type of relationship going further than the years you've both put into it as I left my ex over many reasons but one of them was exactly this same thing. My ex belittled me when I was doing stuff you were doing, but when I started progressing further in myself as a whole he got insecure and upset and put me down even more. So I left. It wasn't a healthy environment for me to be in, as at the time I was meditating and becoming spiritually connected and reading scripts and guidance books written by Buddhist monks, lol. What I learned from those books was to become like a plant. If the environment is too cold and dark and I begin to wilt? Simply move your pot/yourself to a warmer and healthier environment. And for me, that meant for me to leave my ex.

  29. Leaving is not cowardly. Allowing this person to remain your wife and having more children with her is not just cowardly, it's despicable. Your daughter is fast approaching the age where she will decide how much time she wants to spend with you and your new family. I'm certain she will not want any contact with you

  30. Her reasons for not wanting sex are irrelevant. She doesn’t want sex she doesn’t need to have sex.

    However, there’s no need for you to accept a dead bedroom. Don’t do that to yourself. Nobody is worth the stress. You’re 21 and it’s a fairly new relationship. This will NOT get better.

    Check out the destroyed people in r/HLcommunity if you want to see your future.

  31. To clarify, there’s defo no cheating or anything like that. And we both probably are more leaning towards anxious attachment so we both quite clingy to each other. Hence why it was such a shock.

  32. I’ve been Emma. When I was in prime being-creeped-on age of my late teens/early 20s, I would often find that adult lesbians were way more aggressive about it than men of the same age, probably because being the same gender meant I was less on my guard against it, and they didn’t see it as predatory in the same way. I have a distinct memory of a certain woman 15-20 years my senior burying her face in my neck and kissing me on my collarbone, at my workplace. (I worked in a queer-friendly space with a lot of lesbian clientele.)

    Did I feel in danger the same way I would have if it were a man? No, not really. Was I creeped out and unsure how to assert my boundaries? Absolutely.

    Your wife needs to cut contact with Emma now. I don’t care if she can act appropriately at this point, Emma needs the boundaries that she herself doesn’t know how to set, and it’s your job as the adults to do it for her. Emma and your wife should have no further 1-1 contact. She also needs to drop Emma from conversation. It’s not your job to validate your wife’s feelings about her crush on someone else!

    As for your relationship with your wife — honestly, its the same situation as if your wife were a 32 year old man trying, not too subtly, to flirt with a 17-20 year old girl. The gender doesn’t impact the fidelity question here, and how you want to deal with that is very personal.

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